It is sad to say that we are a generation of women who have unlimited freedom, with no checks and balances. Our lives are literally controlled by us alone, we do whatever we like.
We have become ignorant and negligent of our duties and roles in life, we have simply shifted focus to what is less important.
It is important to mention here that more women are getting educated and are excelling in all facets of life, proving the deceitful saying, ‘what a man can do, a woman can do better’. God has created man and woman equally, each with rights and obligations clearly similar at times and clearly different at others.
He has given us the same footing when it comes to faith, good deeds, politeness and reward. However, He has made us different in other aspects such as reasoning ability, physical strength and endurance.
Women have basic roles, which are crucial to achieving a balanced, peaceful and prosperous society: one that enjoins what is good and forbidding what is evil. Women are extremely important to the society, to the extent that the society is corrupt with their corruption, and vice-versa.
As the world gets more ‘civilised’, we have been fed with so many lies as to who we are and what our true roles are. We are told that all our daughterly, womanly, wifely and motherly duties should be kept aside in order to fulfill our worldly duties.
That being a responsible wife is a thing of the past; that being a sit-at-home mother is exhausting: just get them a nanny! That cooking and cleaning are maid-like chores, so why do it? They tell us to drop everything.
To stop observing the hijab properly and resort to looking sexy and fashionably in trend, to just look like them! And yes, all of these have penetrated our senses and we have accepted and adopted them.
But wait, our women are scared!
We’re scared that if we become sit-at-home wives and mothers after all the education we got, our parents would be angry at us for wasting their resources; that our colleagues will see us as failures, since they’re ‘imparting positively’ to the society and we’re busy making dinner.
Indeed we are scared, of waking up every morning to house chores and child bearing, of total obedience and submission to our husbands. We are scared that we would not be able to earn enough money to buy us all the goodies we see with other women. Phew!
What if our husbands’ resources run out? We are simply scared of the four walls of our homes! We better wise up to our current situation.
As it is, the world is tearing apart simply because we are or were not there to correct the excesses our children are exposed to from the outside world, we leave them on their own and they grow with no morality, no Tarbiyyah!
We have let others define what success really means, and have forgotten that success is relative: it is dependent on how you define it. That everyone is successful and no one needs to set the standards, we all live different lives.
In case we didn’t know, no one is asking us not to make money, we’re only asked to fulfill our obligations and take up our roles, just as every responsible person would.
If only we could tear the wall of fear and reach out to what our bodies and minds were really made to do, if only we could accept gladly our roles and stop trying to compete with the male folks, if only we could redefine success, we would be able to breed a a better future: a peaceful one full of honest, loving, brotherly and sincere people.
And then we would look back and smile at our achievements, and be sure that our sacrifices payed off! – If only…… –
By Aishat Alpha, M.